A Letter To My Younger Self
Having recently graduated from university after a long journey full of challenges and obstacles along the way, I feel like I’ve reached a stage in my life where I know what really matters to me.
I wish I could offer a few words of advice to my younger self, to help dispel some of the worries I once had as a teenager and to ultimately equip me better mentally for the life ahead. This of course is an impossibility, but in hope that I may help you on your own journey through life, I’d like to share with you all this letter.
Dear Abdifatah,
You’re a full-fledged adult now, can you believe it? Remember when you thought 23 was so old? You wanted the years to fly by. You thought you would have life all figured out. Now, I just wish time would slow down and well your life is definitely a far cry from the life you’d envisaged as a young boy. Not in a bad way but be prepared for your life to change. You may not end up being a footballer. Just saying.
I know for you today, everything in the world falls into one of these categories: wrong or right. Black or white but most things aren’t either! There so many shades of grey. Life is a series of lessons that will mould you into a better person. It's not about being right or wrong, but perception. It's not about truth or false, but circumstances. It's not about pass or fail, but luck. It's not yes or no, but subjective. You cannot classify it in one category, Its all grey!
I know that you feel the stress of being an immigrant child growing up in Europe and continuously being discriminated against. Being African is a running joke in school but you’ll definitely be surprised when I tell you being African will become cool! Being the eldest and the first person to go through school is tough but being the “guinea pig” will enable your siblings to go through school much smoother.
Oh yeah, I know you’ve been brought up to respect teachers and that they’re like a second parent but don’t take everything that comes out of their mouth as gospel. Some teachers advice and perspective is marred by their prejudice. Remember when a certain teacher deemed your dreams TOO AMBITIOUS! I’m glad that you took it with a pinch of salt and thought I’ll prove you wrong.
Do not believe the cynical voice, masquerading as the realistic voice, that says that nothing much can change. That voice will call your dreams by many names: naive, unrealistic, immature, and irresponsible. Trust your knowledge that the world can be different, can be better. You needn’t sell out and live a life complicit in maintaining the status quo.
Ultimately, your life is an incredible blessing and a journey. One which you will fall in love with when you realise God is in control and you finally stop to smell the roses and enjoy the ride. You’ll meet amazing people in this journey called life who’ll inspire and support you but not everyone you meet will want what’s best for you.
At a certain moment it will become necessary for you to go on a journey abroad. It isn’t to escape forever. It is to get out of your comfort zone and chase your dreams. It’s going to be hard but hard does not mean impossible. Say ‘yes’ to opportunities. You’re GOOD enough, SMART enough, BEAUTIFUL enough & STRONG enough.
Many people will try to give you advice. At first, this will unsettle you, and cause you to second-guess yourself. But over time, you’ll start to notice that the people making suggestions aren’t people whose advice you value. Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with, no need to start listening to randos now. Thank them and give their suggestions the consideration they deserve.
None of this advice can be sustainably implemented by a heroic effort on your part. You need help.
Seek out other people who reinforce your perception that a more beautiful world is possible, and make sure you walk with people who have your back.
Remember to feel your feelings fully. All of them. You can expect to get lost. You can expect for your heart to hurt. You can expect to weep. You can also expect to feel courage. It is important to trust and enjoy your journey. Life is not a race. You are going to have the opportunity to experience some amazing things. Don’t be too impatient to move on to the next opportunity before you’ve truly made the most out of what you’re doing now.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt this year, don’t make too many plans. Almost everything worthwhile you will go on to do in your life will happen by accident – and when you least expect it.
Here are some other lessons I’ve learnt along the way:
If you don’t completely love the person you see in the mirror, you will never truly be happy or successful.
Believe in yourself. I know you’re still trying to figure everything out but have confidence in your inner voice and trust your gut instincts.
You’re not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay.
Try not to take things personally; what people say about you is a reflection of their own insecurities.
Be fair and honest in all your dealings. Do the right thing. Even when others aren’t.
Don’t give up, even when you feel like you should. Life gets a whole lot better.
Don't ever stop learning and growing as a person. Learning, in any format, will open many doors and present you with a whole host of possibilities.
Value nutrition early in life. What you eat will have an impact on your health. Healthy nutrition will help ward off a number of chronic diseases that can otherwise compromise life. Drink more water, eat more veggies and enjoy the occasional treat.
Be sure to spend time with your parents while you still can, because one day when you look up from your busy life & they won’t be there anymore.
I will end it with this quote I came across a few years ago and it resonates with me more and more each day. The road to success is not straight. There’s a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family. You’ll have flat tires called jobs, but if you’ve a spare called determination, an engine called will power, you’ll make it to a place called SUCCESS.
Love,
Your older, wiser self
