Should I have accomplished more by now?

I know this is a deep question and because of this ongoing pandemic a lot of us are not in the mood to reflect. So why not reflect together and learn from each other’s perspectives which might help steer your own thoughts. 

Sometimes it happens like this: It’s a weekday, just another regular day. Then a couple of your coworkers get a promotion. You’re happy for them (kind of), but also start to wonder, “They got a promotion ― am I going to get a promotion? What am I even doing at this company?”

The day goes on but the feeling that you’re falling behind still lingers. You log into Facebook or Instagram that afternoon. You see that a neighbour had a baby. An old friend from college is engaged. Another couple you know just bought a house.

And now you feel terrible, like everyone else is rolling doubles and skipping spaces, and you’re getting no where.

But hold on just a minute: Surely you’ve accomplished something in your lifetime. So what’s up with feeling like you haven’t?

Why do we feel like we haven’t achieved anything?

That nagging feeling that you haven’t done enough, could be related to a number things like social pressure, high expectations or even a lack of purpose. 

Pretty much everyone feels this way at one time or another. It’s not just you.

And we can’t all be right. By definition, we can’t all be not good enough. If 99% of the population should be doing better, isn’t it time to change our definition of “good enough”? So remind yourself that this is a universal issue. 

Do you guys feel like you should have achieved more by now. 

What do you measure success by?

What has held you back so far?

Humans are competitive and, to a certain extent, we've always been comparing ourselves to our peers, but social media has made that "peer group" feel a lot bigger. We get status updates every few minutes. The start of summer is peak season for weddings and graduation ceremonies, not to mention exotic vacations (or even just incredibly stunning beach homes), and all those photos get posted on social media. 

"I don't just feel the pressure to succeed, I feel the pressure to be young and successful."

The “I want it now” culture has most definitely made everything worse. We live in a world where people prioritise instant gratification over long-term happiness and success. Social media amplified this concept to its extreme.

Recently I came across a list of people that became successful later on in their lives. And because of these people, I know I still have time inshallah and I shouldn’t waste it. 

Mary Dixon became a pilot at the age of 50

Francis Chichester sailed around the world at 52

Henry Jay Heimlich developed emergency manoeuvre 54

Stan Lee who created the marvel universe created his 1st comic The fantastic four at 39

Samuel L Jackson got his first big role at 43 - Jungle fever

Anthony Hopkins  first Oscar at 54

The average noble prize winner is 63 

Life is not divided into episodes, it’s whole. 

Contrary to popular belief people don’t have best before dates. 

So how do you fix feeling like you’re stagnant?

•  Get specific about what’s making you feel bad.

•  Do not compare other people’s lives to yours.

•  Have your own definition of success.

•  Don’t be too harsh on yourself

•  Look at your failures objectively.

•  Use multiple aspects of your life to build out your identity.

•  Reaffirm your values.

•  Remember that a hectic life does not equal an accomplished one.

Make a point of starting over tomorrow. Make short little achievable goals that are easy to accomplish, and do those goals!

We will end it with a few Ibn Qayyim quotes. 

1) “Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.”

2) “God does not close a door to his slave, out of wisdom, except that He opens two others to him.”

3) “Beware of every hour and how it passes, and only spend it in the best possible way, do not neglect yourself, but render it accustomed to the noblest and best of actions, and send to your grave that which will please you when you arrive to it.”